13:49

well, life continues to be insane, chaotic, and unexpected in new and.. uh... exciting ways. the last straw finally fell in my living situation, and i decided i had to move. luckily, my lease is month-to-month so i don't have to stick it out for [x] number more months. whew.

the crazy thing is that i'm moving in with my partner. we never intended on cohabitating, largely because we're non-monogamous and we both value our independence and alone time (and we want to respect each other's privacy and boundaries). but we will each have our own bedroom and private bathroom on separate floors, and separate workshop/craft rooms. we don't have to sleep in the same bed every night if we don't want to. we'll have our own spaces to just Be. it'll be almost like living in separate apartments in the same building i guess??

moving always sucks ass, though. this will be the fourth time i've moved in the span of three years. and the thing is-- i love this neighborhood, it's got cafes and bodegas and grocery stores and a hardware store, it's extremely walkable, it's on multiple major bus lines, and it's directly adjacent to another few similar neighborhoods, all still within easy walking/biking distance. i like the neighbors (except for the guy in the basement), we look out for each other and are supportive. i really liked this house itself (for all its quirks and flaws).

but living with an immature/entitled roommate, a neighbor in the basement apartment with horrifically untreated mental illness (thanks US health "care" system!), and a skeezy landlord, my health (physical and mental) has been compromised here for far too long. and it just so happened that one of my partner's housemates is moving out. quelle bonne chance, eh?

i'm naturally quite anxious, but also pretty excited to have so much more room to stretch my legs. expect a lot more plant pics in the coming months.

17:31

holy SHIT i've been busy in the last couple months. i haven't slept in my own bed nearly as much as i've slept in other people's beds (and not even in the sexy way lol i'm a petsitter). finally HOME for a couple weeks before my next two week stint. ~The Holidays~ sure are a thing, whew.

i'm so hungry and i have no idea what to eat. i have some frozen red bean buns buuuuuut i had a couple for breakfast. hmm. my favorite neighborhood anarchist café is closed on Mondays, dangit. i GUESSSSSS i could go to the grocery store, but ehhhhhhhh...

17:43

today has been a helluva rollercoaster. housing insecurity is the fucking worst. all i've ever wanted in my adult life is to have ONE home where i feel physically safe. ONE home where i don't live in perpetual fear of harm. ONE home where the rug won't be yanked out from under me at the whim of a shady greedy scumlord. ugh.

13:42

if a leftist activist organization tells you "we have bigger things to worry about" when you bring up conflict resolution or accountability, RUN.

if that org would rather cut someone off entirely rather than hold one of their members accountable for even a minor conflict, RUN.

especially if it's cis men telling this to women/nonbinary/genderqueer/trans folks.

i know this sounds... logical, right? except i just experienced it in real life this week. (again.)

listen to women. listen to trans people. do not deflect. YES, we are living in fascism right now and it's terrifying and we need to be doing everything we can to fight! but the fight against fascism starts at home. if men (and cis people in general) are not willing to do better, they are PART OF THE PROBLEM. it doesn't matter if they've done lots of good activist work in the past and present. or rather, yes, that work itself matters, but it does not make anyone exempt from being held accountable for their actions.

i shouldn't have to say this to other grown-ass middle-aged folks in the year of our Gord 2025, but here we are.

all that aside, i'm having a pretty good week and have worked on some music! recorded a new track and remixed a couple others that i'd recorded back in June and July. very ready to drop a new album once i re-listen to it on as many different speakers/headphones as i can (my usual pre-release routine). i can't believe it's been A WHOLE YEAR since i released pâro!